SAVE THAT FEAR FOR GOD

8:55:00 am

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Good morning darlings and a happy new week.
It's the Christmas week, although I'm not feeling the vibes yet, don't know why.... Still on, Christ is the reason for the season, so I'm thankful for that.
How has life been with you? How are you getting set for next year? Any plans on crushing your fears and threading the path less travelled? Any set goals?

Think on these things, while I walk you through our post for today....

In my family, the eve of your departure back to school was usually a night of reckoning and admonition with my mum. If you changed in anyway, she'll talk about it and tear your heart apart with her words of encouragement and admonition... You'll just be weeping, but after the drama that night, life goes on 😉 (stubborn shild syndrome).

Her farewell words were usually "my daughter, if sinners entice you, consent thou not"

One of our recurrent issues was the use of wool for my hair. She felt if the world was too interested in it, why not focus on the one made exclusively believers, that is thread, lol?

I never agreed with her and these were my reasons;
1. How can I carry rubber thread to the prestigious faulty of law?
2. What will people think of me? A girl without class...
3. What will my friends say?
4. No guy will even look my way (smh) lol.

My reasons stemmed from the place of a terrible low self-esteem. I felt using thread for my hair, would make people think less of me and I'll loose friends possibly, for being timid.

My mum understood where my fear came from and she could tell I was struggling with "people syndrome" of course I was a young deeperlife girl and in a university environment and faculty of law, for that matter. So, it was a bit normal to feel out of place of I made my hair with thread.

In response to this fear, she'll quote the scripture that says, do not be afraid of those who can destroy the body, rather be afraid of the one who can destroy both the body and soul.
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We spend our time, energy and resources trying to fit in it please man.
We're so afraid of what people think of us and faking it becomes more convenient.
We place our value on things and humans.
We live in constant fear to meet up and belong.

Imagine channeling all these fears to God?
Do you know unlike the fear we have for humans and things which keep us stuck, the fear of God is actually the beginning of wisdom. And this means, if you fear God, you are wise and you'll have the wisdom to deal with other fears you battle with?

The fear of God is the only fear approved for you by God. The other fears are dealt with once the fear of God is there.

Can you channel your fears to God instead?
Why fear people who can only destroy the body but can't touch your spirit of soul?
Why fear mere sayings of men?
Why seek approval from them when God already approved you?
Why seek their validation when God already validated you?
Why let their criticisms quench your goals?
CAN YOU SAVE THAT FEAR FOR GOD?

Save that fear for God and watch how fearless and courageous you'll become.

Live fearlessly
Love you large!
#FEARLESSLIVING 

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FROM PAIN TO PURPOSE

12:25:00 pm

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Happy New Month Darlings,

I don't know how to go about this post but I'll try to post it as it comes....

I immersed myself between the hours of 12 am to about 3am with Toke Makinwa's new book... "On Becoming".... My love for people's journey and their process.

While I read through, my senses were stripped of her status and any judgement, and all I saw was a normal young woman like my very self. I could relate with some of her struggles and all she battled with. This is not a review of the book anyways, but God birthed something in me to share with you all.
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You may sit around and judge her and her mistakes while you're walking in the exact shoes she walked in. You're in a relationship that is draining you spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically, etc. But then you're scared to walk.

You're imprisoned with the idea of being in love that common sense eludes you. Don't think I don't understand.... I actually do.

You'll rather manage the situation with the hope that marriage will make it better and solve all your problems.

You know nothing about your purpose and even if you do, you can't be that person cause your partner wouldn't be cool with it.

You see the signs, the spirit of God convicts you, you know it's not right but you try to make it right and drag peace into it.

You live in self denial, become blind and helpless especially when people see you as the "perfect couple" but you know deep down you're dying and your light is being quenched and darkness is all you really see.

I can go on and on about all we make up in our head, as excuses to stay in an ungodly relationship and one that defies purpose.

You alone know the truth deep down in your heart and in your secret place. You cry about it but you feel stuck so you can't walk. "Moreover, who am I without him and what's life without him in it.... "
**************
I just want to tell you that while walking away from someone you love seem to be the hardest and the most painful experience. Living in fear, being stuck and most of all a life without purpose is worse.

It might be painful, but if you understand and trust what God will birth through you with that experience you'll take the dreaded step to walk.

Toke saw her doom and fell into it only to be awakened  in marriage...... Are you going to sit by and watch same thing happen to you even when you still have your chance as a single lady or man?

Marriage is purpose and if your relationship doesn't give you a satisfaction of purpose and drive to fulfill same, you need to check again.

I'm not a relationship counsellor yet, but I know I should not make a mistake someone has made that I could learn from.

The year is coming to an end and I don't think you should carry the baggage of what doesn't serve you right to 2017. Use this month to sort yourself out.
May December meet you well.

Happy New Month and Live Fearlessly
#FEARLESSLIVING

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SMILE YOUR WAY TO GREATNESS

9:11:00 am

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Good morning sweets, how was your weekend? Mine was awe-mazing.... Lol! That means awesome and amazing. You should know why, I guess.

We concluded our seminar for the month of November and people still can't get over the experience. It was very insightful and our speakers dished heartily from their wealth of wisdom, I really appreciate God for that. If you weren't part of it this time, do well not to miss that of December.

So, to today's post!
One would wonder what does smiling have to do with greatness, and my response will be "Everything"

The Bible tells us in Proverbs 17:22 (AMP) that;

"A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing but a broken spirit dries up the bones"

You see?
It's a cheerful mind that works healing and a happy heart is good medicine too. This is not doctor's prescription, it's God's prescription.

You achieve greatness by making impact in people's lives and this you can't do with bitterness or anger in your heart. You can't give what you don't have.

A broken spirit dries up bones. That is to say, if you're bitter and angry, instead of healing people or solving their problems you dry them up and milk out the little life they have.

A happy heart is eager to do good and help others.
A happy heart percieves the needs and difficulty of others and seeks for ways to profer solution.
A happy heart attract opportunities.
A happy heart is a healing to someone else.

Happiness breeds greatness!
Smile your way to greatness this week!

Love you large
Live fearlessly.

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TAKE INVENTORY

8:57:00 am

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Image Source: Google 

We want to run from a situation we find unbearable or full of pain... We just want to runaway from the inconveniences it brings and possibly run into another situation as quickly as possible not minding whether this new place is better, a direct replica of where we left or closely related to it. We just want to run!

You'll just want to run out and quickly run into another situation if you don't take an inventory of where you're coming from and why you left.

Why did you leave that relationship?
Why did you leave that job?
Why did you leave home?
Why did you drop out from that deal?
Why did you leave your clique?
Why did you leave your church?

You need to answer the question "Why" by taking inventory of
where you're coming from,
why you left and
where you're headed or will head next.

If this is not properly done, you get a repeat of what you're running from.

It's okay to walk away from situations and persons that don't serve our soul's purpose, but a detailed understanding and analysis of why we left will help us not to repeat the cycle.

If you left your church cause they weren't preaching the gospel, be sure your next stop has that gospel.

If you left your relationship because your partner was abusive or ungodly, be sure your next one isn't a repeat of the former.

Walking away from a situation gets lonely and we just want to settle at the next stop or lean on the available shoulder. But sweetie, it doesn't solve the problem.

Go back to your Memory Lane. Not to droll over or live in the past. But to take inventory of what really happened and what shouldn't repeat itself again in your next stop.

Have a wonderful day and live fearlessly
Love you large.
#FEARLESSLIVING 

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YOU CAN'T HELP HUMANS!

10:57:00 am

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Say what?
No....... Amaka, of course I CAN! I'm a born helper.
Okay..... I hear you but sweetie there's this part of humans you can't help and you're about to find out.
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You can position yourself and write on all the visible walls on how people should treat you, but because humans will always be humans, there's every possibility that they're not going to adhere to those rules of yours.

While your principle in life may be not to take insults from people, it doesn't stop them from hauling some at you at one point or the other.

You expect people to treat you nicely, respect you, correct you in love, appreciate you, love you aright, criticise you constructively and just be nice.... Yet they don't! Even when you teach them....

What's my point exactly?
You can't help humans always, especially with how they should treat you.

So who do I help then?
Help Yourself!

Help yourself with how you receive information people pass across to you either with their words, actions or atitude.

People are at liberty to act, but you have the power to choose how you'll respond to those actions.
You are that able.

Train yourself to not be ruled by the attitude of others. Instead of being ruled by them,
choose to rule your mind and emotions and don't let people get on your nerves always and steal your joy.

Choose to accept criticisms that are true regardless of how the information is passed across to you.

Choose to hold the key to your happiness instead of handing it out to those who may mishandle it and hurt you.

Choose to not take insults seriously, rather ignore the ignorance of the insulter, lol.

Above all! CHOOSE TO HELP YOURSELF cause YOU CAN'T HELP HUMANS!

Have a Fearless Weekend
Live Fearlessly
#FEARLESSLIVING 

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MY CONSISTENCY BOOST

2:55:00 pm

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Consistent service delivery is not moi moi neither is it agege bread, lol. I'm so guilty of starting so many things and stopping along the line when I'm discouraged or demands become very high.

This is why it's important that before you start out on your journey to phenomenal living, you ensure to count the cost. How long do you want to stay around? What will it require? Can you stand even when the odds are against you?

While counting the cost is necessary, the counted cost can cause you to not try at all or just quit. But like I always say, the duty of fear is to keep you safe and in keeping you safe it keeps you stuck.

The challenge most people are face when they decide to start living intentionally and fulfilling their purpose is the fear that they may not be able to continue. I had similar challenge too and it kept me stuck for a really long time.

However, so far so good, here are things that boost my consistency and has helped me stay around up till this moment, they are;

1. The person whose work I'm doing.
I always tell myself, "this is your Master's business and this is the reason He created you, so you have to stay on and give it your best"

2. People who have benefited from the little things I do.
Every purpose serves to fill a vacuum and meet a need. I feel motivated to keep up the good work when people connect with the things I do. This brings fulfillment that is beyond expression.

3. The calibre of people I surround myself with. The people you surround yourself with offline and online matter a whole lot. The kind of people I have around me do not take no for an answer. Everyone is working so hard and encouraging others to do same.

4. People who challenge me with "she go tire" bad belle people, lol. I value this set of people a lot. They dare me and I dare myself.

5. Things I write to challenge others.
I know I do a lot of post that motivate and engineer people to be more, and it will be a disappointment and failure on my part to send people to heaven and go to hell. God forbid! So, what I write challenge me too. And I need to lead by example.

6. My Purpose/Vision
This is the essence of my living. Without fulfilling my purpose I'm Walking Dead. And God forbid it that I live such life or go back to that kind of life again. Fulfilling my purpose is not negotiable no matter the circumstance I find myself.

7. The lives I'm yet to impact.
I know I have my audience and the crowd God has designed I impact. I also know that generations are waiting for my light to shine so that theirs can shine too. I choose and pledge not to be a barrier to them. When you shine your light, you help others shine theirs too.


Darling, if you're strong enough to dare yourself to start working on your purpose, any or all of these items above can help you stay consistent. What's important is that you make a move, don't worry so much about being consistent, it will take care of itself once you start.

Get unstuck and live fearlessly
#FEARLESSLIVING 

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WAITING OR WASTING?

10:43:00 am

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Good morning sweets,
How was your night? Cool? Sad? Lonely? Wrecked? Cold? Just there? Teary? Dreamy? Mine was dreamy, lol.... I use my nights to dream, write down New goals, think about the way forward and restructure my mind.

This year has been great, but hasn't been all rosy too. God has trained me this year with separation, lack, patience, perseverance, etc. It has been tough most of the time trusting God for what I can't see, feel or touch. But yet He insists I trust Him, yeah.... Like I have an option not to.

I can't count the number of times I've cried and asked God when will it be better? When will the trials be over? Worry and anxiety begin to have a hold on me and I focus on them that I forget the source of my living.

This year I have waited and believed God for a lot of things I've not seen yet. This can be tiring and exhausting really. But God never leaves me. He just finds a way to remind me His word and promises and I just hug and hold unto them because my life depend on it.

But while waiting, God has kept me busy with His assignment and this makes it all easy. I get so busy that I forget I have a need.

Darling, you may be at that waiting moment in your life, but you can't have the best from that experience if you're wasting it crying and soaking your mind in worry. It solves nothing!

Why not ask God what He wants to do with you while you wait?
If you already know what He wants you to do, why wait and waste?

Do not waste your waiting period. Make great use of it by pursuing God's purpose for your life. Always remember that whatever you're going through is preparing you for where you will be tomorrow. Trust God and trust His process.

Do not Waste while you Wait!

Love you large 😍 😘
Live fearlessly and purposefully.
#FEARLESSLIVING  

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BLOGGER AWARD: BLOGGER RECOGNITION AWARD!

11:00:00 am

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What do I dance with? My dancing shoes, sandals or slipas, lol! Whatever goes joor!

I got nominated for this award by my darling, Shanyi of The Shanyi Life.....to think we met recently and she found me deserving of this award is so humbling.

I'm not really one who gets excited when someone says "so you're a blogger?"......I'll quickly tell you, "no, I write" lol..... Write where? You'll ask... On a blog, lol.

When I got this nomination, I felt, but this award is usually for lifestyle bloggers or fashion bloggers, etc not exactly for writers per Se. Then I thought about it, whatever you choose to use your blog for, provided lives are impacted through it, it's deserving of an award. So thank you Nonso for finding me worthy of this award and I ACCEPT IT with a large heart.

Earlier this year I never saw this coming, so it's a big one for me.....#acknowdeging my humble beginnings.

First step to accepting this award is to write a post showing the award.

Next, acknowledge the blogger who nominated you.
Thanks Shanyi, I appreciate you for acknowledging what I do and thanks for being great too. You know we're yet to turn up right? Lol... Wait till we go offline😉

Next, give a brief history of how and why you started blogging.
Blogging for me was one of my first moves to Fearless living. I created this blog in 2014 but fear wouldn't let me be great. I didn't post anything on the blog because I was scared I wasn't going to make sense and who would have time to read whatever it is I'll write?

May, this year, I finally decided to #Doitafraid. You can read my first post here. Another reason I started my blog, was to write and inspire people with my writings, guess i've been doing great and thank God for those who have been impacted by the little things I do here.

Give two piece of advice to New bloggers. 
I'm also New on this journey but to those as New as I am, lol or newer than I am.... I'll tell you to always "Do it Afraid", remain consistent and stay on your lane.What I mean is, let your blog be a reflection of who you are.

Nominate 15 deserving bloggers

I Nominate Chioma Madueke, Ijay of Ijaysworld and Ife-Grace The Story Teller.... You guys are doing amazing jobs turning the world around with your pen/writing pads. This is me saying, bravo! The world is yet to celebrate your greatness.

That said.... The reward for hard work is more work.

Cheers to greater fearless strides.
You Can Be More!

Live fearlessly!
#FEARLESSLIVING

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BRICKS OF PROGRESS

12:04:00 pm

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Good morning sweets and Happy New Week!
How was your weekend? Hope exciting.....and you played for Nigeria too?
It's a new week and live goes on!

So unto the business of the day.

Achieving greatness doesn't happen overnight. It takes consistent and courageous efforts to achieve ones' goals.

To make progress in whatever goal you want to achieve, the bricks of progress helps you get there.

What are these bricks?
1. What you have at hand.
When I became more intentional about my Life and writing. What I had was my facebook account, my phone, my brain and my story. I began dishing out inspiring posts which people connected with. It gave me a solid base and an audience to reach out to. From there, I proceeded to start my blog,  hire a coach and hosting seminars which has blessed many lives, among other things I've done and yet to do.

So,what do you have that you're not using yet?

2. Consistency
To make any progress in life, you need to be consistent With whatever you're doing. People should know you for it and identify you with it.

3. Have a defined message
What message to you want to pass across? Who do you want to solve their problem? A defined message helps you stand out.

4. Improve and sharpen your skills
What you know may not be enough, so you need to improve where necessary and  learn skills that will give you an edge. Read and make research on the path you want to take.

5. Stay focused and Courageous
It doesn't matter what people say or think. It doesn't also matter whether people acknowledge or notice what you're doing. What's important is that you're consistent, people will come around.

6. Acknowledge yourself
I keep emphasinging this. People may not cheer you up, but you need to be your own Cheerleader. Always acknowledge yourself for any courageous step you take, no matter how little.

I'll just leave it here.
It doesn't matter how fast or slow you are, the important thing is to make progress.

Have a fearless week!
Love you large

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I BELIEVE IN YOU

8:22:00 am

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Happy Independence Day darlings!
You must be asking where I've been, lol... I've been here and there oh. Busy up and down, for a good cause though. I've missed sharing with you guys here seriously. I hope to be more present this month, so stay around.

When I remember my country Nigeria, I usually don't know what to think, so I try not to think about it and just live and pray for it.

A lot is not well! Economic recession and so much hardship everywhere. People are lamenting and can barely feed.

However, this post is not to keep piercing the wound, rather it's to say that while you heal I'm standing by you.

I'm trusting and believing that you'll make a glorious come back.

I'm confident that it's not over for us.

I still acknowledge you as the giant of Africa.

I won't give up on you not stop praying for you.

I'm not so bothered about those who run you, I'm just confident in the greatest ruler ever known, and I believe He will restore you.

Your land will be green again,
More fertile and bear fruits of international demand.

You are Great and Greatness is you!
Happy Birthday dear, I love you.

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APPRECIATE YOUR STORM!

11:49:00 am

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Wow! It's been a while here.... How have you all been? So sorry for my absence, life happened.

I just want to briefly share with you that
"Trials are Bae" lol. I'm not really a fan of the "bae" word, but that's what came in handy as I typed this.

No one hopes of prays for trouble, but we very well know that it comes and doesn't ask for your permission. Life happens! People break promises! We loose our loved ones! Businesses crumble! We miss opportunities! Break ups happen! But what can we do?

Uncle Job said, "The days of man is full of troubles" so troubles will always come.

There's something I've learned about "STORMS" you never remain the same after the experience. You become better, stronger, wiser, brighter, bigger and smarter.

Certain feats can't be achieved if you don't go through the storm. You need the storm, if you want stardom. They work hand in hand. The Israelites wouldn't have successfully left Egypt had they not crossed the red sea.

Darling,
Whatever you're going through is preparing you for where you will be tomorrow. And to make good use of your storm, have an understanding that it's preparing you for something bigger. Ask God, what do you want me to learn in this storm? What door are you opening for me? What was I doing wrong you want me to do right now?

For our light affliction is evermore and more working for us an eternal weight of glory.
Make good use of your storm and don't be drowned by it.

Your best is yet to come.



Have a wonderful and fearless Tuesday
You are loved

#FEARLESSLIVING 

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RUN!!!

10:17:00 am

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Image Source: Google 

There's something I discovered about God. When you're in a situation (friendship, environment, Job or relationship) He doesn't want you to be in, He gives you series of warning to come out and when you don't, depending on His assignment for you He pulls you out Himself.

When God does this, it hurts and hurts really bad.

But what most of us, who do not understand God's plan for our lives do, is to keep running back to what or where God pulled us out of.

Friend, if God says Run, RUN.

Run and follow His plan even when it doesn't make sense.

Run after your dreams and don't look back.

RUN towards destiny.

Once you RUN towards your destiny the past looses hold of you.

Do not run back to where God pulled you out of. Stay focused and keep running to your destiny. 

There's hope at the other end if you persist.

Ask lot's wife what happened when she looked back..it changed her destiny for life. 

When God closes a door, do not go checking if He shut it well. Believe that it's closed and ask Him for the next door. 

Have a beautiful Tuesday and Stay Fearless 

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IT'S SEPTEMBER SET "YOU" FREE

11:41:00 am

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Happy New Month Darlings....
I'm sooooo excited to step into the month of September.

It's the beginning of the EMBER SPECIAL. While this part of the year spurs fear, anxiety and uncertainty, I'm not confined to think of it that way. It's a beautiful season that reminds us of how the year has been. It's ups and downs and also teaches us to be grateful to God for all of it.

It's September, Set "YOU" free from

Self limiting beliefs
Baggages of the past
Self destruction
People bondage
Company of miserable people
Failures
Fear

Walk free in the liberty Christ has bought for you.

It's never late to still try,
The year is not over yet,
Make this year count,
And Let your light shine.

Do have a beautiful September
Let do great works

Love you large
Live Fearlessly

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CHALLENGE: A SIGNAL FOR VICTORY

12:02:00 pm

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Image Source: Google

Good morning darling readers....!

I'm elated to share with you this morning. But first, how was your weekend? Hope great and fulfilling?
Mine was............. And is.......the essence of this post.

Let's get down to this!

I was supposed to share this on facebook, but I discovered it's a testimony I would love to have my copy, for future reference.

The 2nd edition of the "Fearless Living Virtual Seminar" was held on the 27th & 28th August, 2016. And planning this event came with lots of challenges that almost made me cancel the event.

1st Testimony is about the Seminar Flier.

My graphics designer delivered late on this. Publicity was proposed to run from Wednesday, but I got this flier late Thursday evening meaning I only had Friday to do the publicity.

As if that wasn't enough, I didn't like the flier at all. It appeared too childish for me because of the colours and the words were not properly projected as I would have loved it and some vital details were left out, e. g the time of the event. People I shared it with had similar opinion, so I was pissed and heartbroken. It was now late and he couldn't come up with another one. So I decided to just cancel the seminar for this month.

With encouragement from a dear friend, I decided to persevere, so I tried my hand on designing one with an application  on my  phone, lol

After all these I was still discouraged and was thinking of how to make a press release for the cancel.
But God didn't let me. He reminded me it's not my job nor the job of the flier to bring people to the seminar. Secondly, a flawed flier is nothing compared to the lives that will be affected no matter how few. So I was encouraged to do the publicity on Friday.

2nd Testimony,
At about 12 noon that Friday I became very sick. I was running temperature and purging too, which seemed like the signs of Typhoid. I prayed to God for healing and that same evening He came through for me. By Saturday morning I was perfectly fine.

3rd Testimony,
On Saturday morning my subscription that I doubt had lasted upto a week exhausted. I was so discouraged coupled with the little financial constraints I was facing. But my mind was made up so I decided to go and subscribe. Surprisingly I saw a message on my phone from my service provider which I would normally ignore. But my eyes caught hold of it about a promo. I followed through with the procedure and I got 6G for #1500.

4th Testimony,
The participants were more than what we recorded last month. Last month we had about 98 participants, but this month we had over 135 participants as people kept signing up even as the seminar was almost coming to a close. As I write this post people are still asking to be added, but I told them they'll be registered for next month.

5th Testimony,
Lives were transformed and people made decisions to let go of their past, embrace their present and prepare for the Future.
This is the greatest of all the testimonies. Reviews were flooding in, in their numbers.  Would have shared most of it, but this post is long already, so I'll just share one.

6th Testimony,
Network came to fight us... It was terrible but God still made name for Himself.

7th Testimony,
The overall testimony is that, The event was a huge success and I owe it all to God.

What I gathered in all of these experiences is that, when you want to accomplish something great and challenges are creeping in, it's a signal that something big is about to happen.

Never give up, no matter what you face. So far as you're walking with God and based on His instructions too, you will come out victorious.

Face your fears and watch your testimonies flow in.

Have a great week
Live Fearlessly
Love you large 

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FOCUS ON THE GLORY & NOT THE STORY

1:52:00 pm

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Happy New Week fam....
I'm always excited dropping a few lines here for you and also for myself.
How was your weekend? Mine was just cool... Though I was wishing it didn't end, lol.

This picture though, lol... I was scrolling through my gallery for a perfect picture to fit the heading, and I stumbled on this and it just clicked with my eyes and my heart, so I selected it.

This picture brought back so many memories, from my pre-degree experience to seeking for admission and finally getting one and now.. A lawyer. And all I can say is "It can only be God"

The journey to becoming a lawyer took me about 7 solid years... And I imagine, if I focused on how long it was going to take me before studying hard for the admission, it definitely would have discouraged me. I was more concerned with gaining admission and I also knew that once I started it was a matter of time and it will be all over.

Most times, we worry about how we're going to make it, when we're going to make it and if we will make it... We get more concerned with the process and story instead of focusing on the expected "end"

But today,  I'm sharing with you that you should focus more on the Glory,
Focus on who you'll become when you've made it,
Focus on the lives you will touch,
Focus on the changes you will make,
Focus on the impacts you'll make in the society, Focus on the life you will have then.

Focus on the GLORY, the story is part of the process but the GLORY will make you cherish the story.

For our light, momentary affliction (this slight distress of the passing hour) is ever more and more abundantly preparing and producing and achieving for us an everlasting weight of glory [beyond all measure, excessively surpassing all comparisons and all calculations, a vast and transcendent glory and blessedness never to cease!], (1Cor: 4:17 AMP) 

Live fearlessly friends
Fulfill purpose
Love sincerely
And laugh heartily.

Do have a great and productive week ahead
Love you large 

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YOU DON'T NEED A NEW YEAR RESOLUTION

11:07:00 am

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Happy Fearless Friday sweets, how has your week been? Exciting? Fearful? Great? Sad?.....whatever your week may have looked like, it's okay alright? Sometimes what life serves us isn't what we bargained for but living fearlessly means we can handle whatever life throws at us and still remain standing. Never be discouraged, keep trying and keep planting your tiny-huge seeds, you'll reap in due season if you faint not.

To today's post!
I'm not so much a fan of new year resolutions, sometimes I make and other times I don't. I noticed the ones I make, I most times end up not doing those things.

My life has experienced an amazing transformation this year, and none of it was on my new year resolution list.... But God has helped me thus far and transformed my life beyond my thoughts.
However, God is willing to work with you if you're willing to be worked on or used.

Intentional living is a daily walk, and any day you decide to take your life more seriously becomes your new Year and you can start planning from then.

New Year resolutions are great if you're willing to do the work involved to bring it to reality, but not having one hasn't made you a failure either.

Sit up, Stand up and Show up.... The year is running out so fast, a day is enough to turn your life around.
I hope you take a decision today to live intentionally and purposefully.

Stay Fearless
Love you large

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BREAK UP!

11:18:00 am

•

Good morning darlings,
Welcome to a super fresh Wednesday! How has the week been? Mine has been quite eventful with lots of mixed feelings but I'm handling all of it graciously.

Ups and downs will come, but being fearless means you can handle both situations and not break down. So cheer up and stay up no matter what.

About today's post, lol.....
Yes I said so,  BREAK UP!

You will agree with me that most times the turning points in our lives occur after a major break up. Break up in a relationship, break up with a job, break up with friends, break up with family(sometimes), break up with sin, break up with religion, etc.

Break ups undeniably Make us.

So, some areas of life lives won't thrive UNTIL we break up with the things keeping us bound.
Wrong relationships
Wrong companies
Wrong job
Wrong advice
Wrong perceptions
Wrong beliefs
Wrong thoughts

We know these things, but most times because of the little benefits we get from them, we chose to ignore the damage they're causing to our lives.

If there's something in your life that isn't serving you a good purpose especially of eternal value, please by all means break up with that thing and embrace a make over.

You are your own miracle and can also be your own doom.
Use wisdom and serve your life the best!

Make Fearless decisions and Stay Fearless!
#FEARLESSLIVING

Love you large 

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GOD IN A SWIMSUIT

10:12:00 am

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Hello darlings...
Good morning and welcome to a new week! Hope last week was fair to you? Hope you achieved something, no matter how little? Life is about making moves, no matter how little just make sure you're moving...stagnancy or being stuck sucks!

So about today's post, "God in a Swimsuit" lol.... I'm laughing at this heading myself, but let's get down to business!

Years back, a friend called us on phone to get ready that we were going to hang out for swimming specifically. Most of us were excited about it but just a few of us had a swimsuit.

One of us, who's all "tech" lol, she loves to do things the way it should be done and tushed too insisted that to be part of the trip you MUST have your swimsuit. Mind you, she wasn't the one sponsoring the outing o, but she just insisted and it raised a lot of dust and I guess we eventually didn't hang out that day cause most of us got angry at her.

*****************************

This is exactly the attitude most of us put on about God, our dreams, ideas, visions, plans, etc.

We expect that God must work in a particular way, we're engrossed with our stereotype knowledge of God that we don't give Him room to use other means to reach out to us. We just package God in a straight jacket and insist He deal with us in a particular way. We insist If He's not in His swimsuit swimming then He's not God.

For our dreams, goals, ideas, visions, plans, etc... We get to used to a particular system that we can't give room for something different. We copy others and follow their system strictly whether or not it's working for us.

Why not try something different? Why not let go of those traditions that hold you down? Why not keep an open mind and explore other ways of being great?

Jesus broke the tradition of the Sabbath day and when the Pharisees questioned Him, He told them "Sabbath is meant for man and not man for the Sabbath" (Mark 2:23-28)

Fear is the reason why you're afraid of change, it's the reason you don't want to try things differently and  it's the reason you chose to settle for the normal.
Break out from that chain and live the life you crave.

Have a great week ahead!
Love you large
#FEARLESSLIVING 

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ADVICE FROM MY CRUSH

8:03:00 am

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Good morning sweets and welcome to a new day and a new week....

How was your weekend? Mine was great!
To think it's already the 2nd week of August, Hmmm.... Days are really racing! What have you been upto? 2016 so far so good for you? Recorded any milestone yet? If you haven't, you still have about 4 Months to wrap up this year, please make it count!

So about today's post, back in the university, I had a huge crush on this guy, if we had any beef it would feel like my whole life was at a standstill, and this was because my happiness depended largely on him.

So this particular period, we weren't talking and I had exams, on this fateful morning I kept calling and calling but he didn't pick up. When he eventually did, I was crying and telling him "Shey you know I have exams and you're treating me this way" and this was his response....

"Amy, if you fail, nobody will ask if anybody made you happy" Geez! These words felt like a sharp knife had been pierced through my heart. It hit me real bad cause I was really expecting him to pity my exams and make me happy.

But I picked his message. Words get to me and while I may mourn over it, I also build strength with it. I saw these words as a big challenge, I realized how true it was and with that I used the energy my anger produced and put in my whole self into studying and making sure I made good grades.... And I did!

........So what's the message?

You're at liberty to do what you want with the shades people throw at you.

Take what supposed haters tell you and make a great message or decision with it.

Do not build your happiness around human beings, they FAIL.

See opposition as an opportunity.

Work hard and never quit trying.

Because.....
If you fail, nobody will ask if anyone made you happy.

Have a blessed week
Love you large

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What They Didn't Tell Us

2:15:00 pm

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Happy Wednesday friends.....
Recently, I've been having a different feel about God and my relationship with Him feels so different than what I've been used to.
There are things the church may not tell you, only the spirit of God can reveal them to you.

Just a few of them....

They didn't tell us there was more to God than Sunday services/fellowships.

They didn't tell us there  was more to worship than raising hands and being emotional.

They didn't tell us there was more to praise than dancing.

They didn't tell us there was more to devotion thank being a worker.

They didn't tell us that God is much more a father than a consuming fire.

They didn't tell us the Bible wasn't just some text book but life itself.

They didn't tell us there was more to church than building.

They didn't tell us there was more to conversing with God than dishing out orders to Him.

........
God is deeper than they tell us, it's our job to discover who He really is.

That I may know you more and the power of your resurrection.

Have a blessed day 

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CHOOSE YOUR MORNING

3:21:00 pm

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Wow! I'm super excited....
We just concluded our first online event which is the FEARLESS LIVING VIRTUAL SEMINAR and it was "wow"

I really thank God for the success for all that participated in the event.
We're not started yet, lol.

Going down Memory Lane, I remembered that, at the beginning of this year, I never saw any of these happening. There was no plan for my blog, nor consistent posts, not to talk of hosting a seminar.

But somewhere along the line, I decided to wake up! My dreams/purpose won't even allow me sleep. I had to wake up and start living intentionally.

I just want to tell you who's still struggling to find your feet, struggling with fear, if you decide that today will be your morning, it can be and you'll see how bright it'll shine.

It's never too late to start.
Wake up and start living.....

Happy New Month 

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FEARLESS LIVING VIRTUAL SEMINAR

4:30:00 pm

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Wow!

Do you know?.....That the distance between where you are now and where you ought to be is fear?...and during this life changing seminar we'll be disecting the "HOWs" of Breaking the Jar of Fear And Standing Up To Your Dreams.

It's the first of its kind and it's my honour to invite you to The "FEARLESS LIVING VIRTUAL SEMINAR"
Happening this weekend (Saturday & Sunday)
Time: 7pm(Nigerian Time)
Venue: Whatsapp

To register, send "Break The Jar" via whatsapp to any of the contacts on the flier.

Thank you and I expect to see you there.

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STAY ON THE RACE

12:04:00 pm

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Who told you it was going to be easy?
Who told you you must succeed at once?
Who told you you're the only one on this journey?
Who told you fear is not going to stand in your way?
Who told you everyone is going to support you?
Who told you everything will go as planned?
Who told you giving up is the last resort?

Whoever told you these lied to you!

Dearie, The Truth is this...
It's not going to be easy.
You may fail here and there or miss it.
Thousands are on this journey of fulfilling purpose.
Mr Fear the frenemy will always be there.
No hun, not everyone will cheer you.
Also everything won't go as you planned.
But... Giving up is not the last resort.

The option is to Try Again.
The option is to do it all over.
The option is to stay courageous.
The option is to not give up.
The option is to STAY ON THE RACE

Have a fearless week
#FEARLESSLIVING 

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CONFIDENCE: BY-PRODUCT OF COURAGE

10:13:00 am

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Image source: Google 

When I got to law school, I tried so hard to set a goal on making First Class. But I couldn't. I just couldn't imagine it with all the stories I heard about how difficult bar exams were and where I placed my academic strength.

One of my lecturers in university asked me "Amaka, hope you're aiming for First class?" I laughed so hard at myself and the question. I couldn't just picture myself making First Class. Then I told him I didn't want First Class, that I don't even see myself making one. So he told me, I understand your fears, but once you start reading voraciously, your confidence will heighten and you'll see that you can make First Class.

As my bar exams drew closer, I read like crazy. Covering all that I needed to cover. I read and read till my mind started realizing the possibility of making a First Class. But it was somehow late now, cause the preparation I made earlier wasn't for a First Class.

So, what exactly am I saying?
You need to take courageous steps towards your goals, waiting to be confident enough to start will be a long wait. Confidence comes after a courageous step is taken.

Learn to move and do what God has laid in your heart even if you have to do it afraid. Once you start, confidence will follow suit.

Have a fearless Friday!
Love you large.

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THIS ONE IS FOR YOU

10:16:00 am

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I write to you who's lost, at that spot you're standing there's a way, just open your eyes to it.

I write to you who's broken, from the tiny bits of your broken self lies strength you cannot imagine till you try to gather up these pieces.

I write to you who's afraid, at the other end of your fear is freedom.

I write to you who's in lack, there's a supply for you, but you need to shift your thoughts from lack to abundance.

I write to you who's alone, learning to be your own company might be the greatest thing you'll discover do for yourself.

I write to you who has lost a loved one, God has great and better plans for you.

I write to you who's discouraged, life can be crazy but you'll survive, so encourage yourself and brace up.

I write to you who's going through the process of self discovery, trust me it's the best journey you can ever take on.

I write to you who has it all together, thank God for you, gratitude is the best way to maintain the pace.

I write to us all going through one phase or the other, it's all life's process, everything is going to be alright.

Have a blessed day!
Love you large 

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This Is What You're Running From

11:28:00 am

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Image Source: Google 

Happy looonnnngggg holidays!
It's been a week of rest for everyone in Nigeria cause of the Salah event. I had fun this week even though the enemy tried to ruin it, but God didn't let him. Hope yours was exciting too?

Well, today I want to share something I believe we all are struggling with. And that thing is....

CHANGE!

This morning I had some worries about a project I'm working on whether I'll pull through with it, so when this worry creeped in, I quickly had to address why it's there, and what I discovered was that I was simply afraid of the responsibility that'll come with the change of expanding my comfort zone by taking on that project!

Change comes with responsibilities and the thought of that, makes us settle for the option of remaining where we are. We think, we can't handle what a change will bring, so we stay stuck and refuse to move.

But one truth remains, and that is....

As long as we live, changes will occur. Change in jobs, relationship status, friends, interests, feelings, career, etc. And we need to brace ourselves with the armour of courage and confidence that we can handle whatever change that comes.

You can master the art of saying "I can handle it" even when impossibility stares you in the face. This really helps.

Embrace change and see it as a way of life.
Take the risk of making changes in the areas of your life you're not comfortable with.
Put on courage and believe you can handle the responsibility that comes with it.
If you're not open to change, you'll remain stuck and life will keep passing you by. So how long are you going to be your own enemy?

Get up, step up and stay up!

Fearless living comes with making positive changes and If you're afraid of change, you can never make a change!

Have a great weekend,
Love you large 💖

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DO NOT PACK YOUR EGGS IN ONE BASKET!

10:57:00 am

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Image Source: Google 

Happy New Week darlings....it's the first Monday in the month of July the 2nd quarter of the year. How was your weekend? Hope you rested enough and you're fully charged to make the remaining months in this year count? If you haven't, you really should.

So down to today's gist.
I believe most of us are very familiar with the heading of this post "don't pack your eggs in one basket"....it is mostly used when people get into relationships and they get the warning, not to date a person, so that when he or she messes up they can have a back up plan.

There's the tendency to wrap our whole life around a particular area of our life, for instance you get a new job you pour your whole life into it or a new relationship or marriage or friendship, etc.
We tend to Chanel our whole life and energy to this new thriving area that we allow the other areas of our lives to suffer.

Somehow along the line, as nothing really lasts forever, something happens to this area of our life that we've built our world around, e. g you lose your job, your relationship breaks down, you lose that friendship, etc and it appears your whole world has crumbled.

But imagine, you gave 100 % commitment to all the areas of your life, career, relationship, personal development, marriage, leisure, spiritual, health, etc. Instead of making an area your whole life?

What if every area of your life received same attention like the others?

What if you could really balance your life wholly and completely?

This is very possible!
And you can achieve this by giving full commitment and concentration to every area of your life, so that the fall in one area will not crash the rest.

I hope you can try that this new Week and 2nd quarter of the year, you're sure to experience a different kind of life that's more fulfilling.

This way you stay FEARLESS.

Love you large

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SO FAR SO BAD?

6:49:00 pm

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Image source: Google 

HAPPY JULY darlings!
How has the 1st half of the year treated you? Good, bad or ugly? However it was chill, this piece is going to make you feel better.

I'm not one that do much of new year resolutions and even when I do, I don't usually follow through with it.
But this year there was this one thing I thought would happen in my life, it would have been a huge one for me (will share it later). It was one of my plans for the year, but mid way into the year this plan crashed, it crashed like a plane would and it crushed me too. It was a very though experience for me and gathering strength to start all over was very difficult.

I had put in so much to see to it that this plan fell through but it didn't, that month was very dark and fiery for me.

Then somehow God helped me and pulled me up, He thought me to trust Him through it all. He told me He had things under control and He'll take care of me.

I stood up, wiped my tears, had a good bath and dressed up to slay.

Two things were involved, it's either I made new and better plans or I remained in misery.But I chose the former. I made new plans, searched deeper for my greater self, became more intentional, chose happiness and gratitude, started my pursuit of purpose.

You have to open your eyes to see and understand  why a door is closing behind you. You have to come to terms with the fact that life will sometimes serve you what we didn't bargain for. But are you supposed to end our journey there?

Truth is, some times our plans fail and that's when you know "this is life" and how you handle your disappointments is what shows how strong you are.

You had a resolution or plan and it didn't fall through?
You didn't have one and you're just roaming.
You don't think there's time to start all over again?

Majority of my breakthroughs this year was never in my resolution, I had a plan but it failed.
It takes a second for your life to change, you don't need the whole year. Darling step up and set new goals. You need to be happy and live a life you can be proud of.

Don't give room for anything that'll keep you stuck or unhappy.
Embrace your higher self, choose your dreams and pursue it endlessly even if you have to do it afraid.

God has you and you are not alone.

Love you large
Have a blessed month, make the remaining six months count.

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MISTAKES RECYCLE: Break the Jinx!

7:04:00 pm

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Whoever lied once will Lie again.
Whoever stole once will steal again.
Whoever committed fornication will likely do so again.
Whoever defrauded another will defraud again.

Mistakes recycle same as sin. One done, leaves room for a repeat, the cycle goes on until it is broken and destroyed.

These mistakes shape our lives and decisions.
It's either we learn from it or we ignore it.
It forms the basis of our fears,
It limits us and tends to define us.

But once the cycle is broken, with the right attitude, we begin to do things differently and act differently too.

God is the perfect jinx breaker. He's able to break that cycle of sin and mistakes to give you a new and unique life.

You can't have a fearless life without Him. And there's no fulfilled life without Him.

What do you want?
Remain in sin and stay stuck in your life?
Recycle your mistakes and live with regrets?

There's no work to be done here others than to acknowledge your helplessness and ask God to forgive you and give you a new shift.
He'll hear and He'll help.

I hope this helped you?
#FEARLESSLIVING

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BEAUTY OR BEAST

7:22:00 pm

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By the time I grabbed my phone,
Opened my browser,
Selected this picture,
Typed the blog Title,
I didn't know what I was going to blog about.

But guess what? I'm blogging already, lol

In life I've discovered that life is full of beauty and there are lots of beautiful souls though few...

These are people with a massive dose of positive vibes,
They're humane and so down to earth,
They're full of love and appreciation,
They bring out the best in you,
They help you up when you're down,
They're always there when go-to situations arise,
They're god in human form,
They live their dreams unapologetically,
They help others become the best version of themselves,
They radiate beauty both in words and in silence,
They love unconditionally,
The list goes on....

Then there are the beasts
With truckload of negativity,
Always ready to dish out discouragement,
They're doing nothing for themselves and expect you shouldn't too,
They monitor and hawk other people's progress like gala, lol
 I think I've lost connection describing them right now so let me stop here...

So which are you?
Which do you surround yourself with?
Beauty OR Beast?

I want to experience the true beauty of life in its entirety and also dish out same.

Hope you have similar plans.
There are few good people in the world, please be one.

Good Evening!

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BURN THE PAST

11:26:00 am

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Image source: Google

HAPPY NEW WEEK darlings. How was your weekend? Mine was pretty great and I feel so alive and fresh this new week, hehehehhe.

It doesn't matter how the past week went, what's important is that you have another chance to ensure this week goes smoothly and beautifully too, you know how? 

By burning the PAST! 

The past is like that first love that people say "old flames never die" lol. He wants to hunt you and follow you wherever you go and whatever decision you make.

Whenever you want to move on, he shows up to say "how dare you leave me?" can you survive without me? Who's going to love you like I do?  Who'll treat you better than I do? Do you think there's a better life out there? 

The past wants to always keep you company, but in following you, it ruins life. 

The past is a lesson, learn it.

The past was a mistake move past it.

 Whether you won or lost in the past if you don't let it go, it'll keep you at the same spot. 

The past is a tool Fear uses to keep us bound. 

But it's time to wave good bye to all of it. 

Press toward the mark for a higher calling, keep your eyes on the price ahead.

There's so much love and beauty on the other side and you'll not be able to see this if you're still hugging and romancing the past. 

It's a fresh week, have a fresh start! 

#FEARLESSLIVING 

Love you large 

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MISERY LOVES COMPANY

11:49:00 am

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Image source: Google

In university, I was this person who wouldn't or would hardly raise her hand to ask or answer questions in class. My fear was that I may say the wrong things or come off as "show body" or "gbaza queen" so I figured is better I stay at the background and slay. But somehow deep inside I wanted to be that girl, who can stand up and answer questions perfectly. Since I wasn't doing this I found people who were courageous enough to do it as "show bodies".

So myself and my clique or people around me, will just be busy analysing or possibly laughing at people who are being themselves by expressing themselves, even when I secretly wished I could do that.

This is what misery does. It forms alliance and loves company of course who wants to be unhappy alone?

You were in a relationship and was cheated on so you find someone in same shoe and you sit and console yourselves with "all men cheat so we can't go into a relationship or marriage anymore" or laugh at people taking the bold step.

Your business didn't pull through you find another person in same shoe and you form an alliance saying business don't thrive in Nigeria and when you see people getting into one you laugh at them.

You can't take the courage to live your dreams you find someone in the same shoe with you and you laugh at those living theirs.

You come from a poor home, and form alliance with people of same home and say poor people don't have connection so they can't make it or survive in Nigeria and when you see one trying so hard to make it you say, "try and come back home"

You fail a course, you join people who failed same course and say "people don't pass that course"

Dear,
You can't get better in that company of yours. You need to seperate yourself from complaining buddies if you want to step out of that fear or downfall and embrace a new life. You need the right company, not people who will pull you down to their level cause they feel they're saving you from disappointment.

The decision to fearless pursue your dreams is one you have to take without giving room for negativity of any sort. Stay away from people with negative vibes and stand up to your fears so you can embrace true freedom.

I hope you take a decision today, time is ticking really fast, what do you want to be remembered for?

Have a blessed Wednesday

Love you large

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MOOD

6:09:00 pm

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Happy Sunday friends, hope you were in church today? I had a great time in church...was down and worried before going, but on coming back those burdens were lifted. God is super faithful.

Just want to share a struggle, sometimes the fearless is actually the most fearful.

Sometimes life plays you a video of all that you've not achieved or should have achieved.

Reminds you of how well your mates or even those younger than you are doing.

Reminds you of your big mistakes and how you've not made the right choices.

Reminds you of how things aren't going so well or smooth as you want.

This struggle is real and it comes with intense fear of what tomorrow will bring, whether you can really do great things, whether you still have a space to fill on the planet and whether you'll be fast enough to achieve all that you want to want to achieve before eternity calls.

What I did,
I went to church, where my heart was lifted.
I prayed,
And read great scriptures that reminded me of God's promises.
I've learnt to trust God for everything and trust me He always comes through for me.

Whatever my lot God has taught me to know "It is well with my soul"

What are you currently struggling with? And how have you tried to deal with it?

It is well.

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HOW WILLING ARE YOU?

9:40:00 am

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Image source: Google 

Thank God is Friday....
For me this week was pretty fast. I think I say this alot, maybe is because I have lots on my hands, which I love though.

Today, I'm talking about fearless living. And one important thing I want to share with you is that anyone and everyone can live this life free from fear.

But anyone and everyone who desires this kind of life requires one tool to achieve it.

That tool is WILLINGNESS!
You have to be willing to change
Willing to have a different view about your situations
Willing to do things differently
And will to create new experiences for yourself.

Unless you're comfortable with where you are, how you are and what you have at the moment, you'll never be willing to reach for more.

There is more,  more, more, more, more, more, so much more. But you have to be willing to be able to access the "more"

I hope you make a decision today to be willing to step out of your fears, get on the steering and allow your fears #Takethebackseat while you have the life you crave.

Have a blessed weekend
Love you large

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Pretty Face, Hidden Guts!

3:30:00 pm

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Happy Tuesday!
How have you all been? I sincerely hope great.
Well I've been having "moments", great ones really. My life seem to be moving pretty fast, a lot is changing and is all to His glory.

On our talk for the day!
Few friends have met me since I started my "Take the Backseat Movement" and they ask similar question which is "Amaka, I don't get you oh, you don't look like this person you talk about" and my reply would be "fear most times is not written on the face"

This is practically true, especially as it relates to emotinal fears that has to do with achieving your goals, owning your truths and reaching forth for that deeper you.

No one knows it nor sees it, it's just you that's aware you have that struggle. And being aware of it is a great start to coming out of it.

If you're afraid you'll know it deep down, but knowing it isn't just enough. You need to take steps to walk out of it so you can be free. The other end of fear is freedom actually and true freedom comes from Christ. "you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free"

Truth brings freedom, first is the truth that you're loved, another is that you're wanted, another is that there's a great plan For has for you that you alone can execute, another is that it doesn't matter what your story looks like, God will still use you.

Dearie, you don't have to play okay cause you have a pretty face and smile and people don't get to see the fearful you. You alone know this problem and you alone can take care of it just by a "Decision" then watch God take care of the rest.

Are you afraid of something or owning a truth about you and you need a hand to hold you?
Here's mine ✋ let's do this...
You can comment or send me a mail or a message on facebook.

God bless you

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OPEN LETTER TO OUR PARENTS

9:15:00 am

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Image source

Good morning dearies, and thank God is Friday. I feel the week went by pretty quick, but is all to His glory. Hope the week has been fair to you? Mine has been amazing.
      Today's post is a guest post! And because this blog covers everything about life, we're entertaining this gist. A blog reader shared her concerns with me via mail (you can send yours too) about the attitude of our parents to inter-tribal marriages and she wrote this letter. I however did some fine tuning so our parents can get us. You may have been in this shoe or you're currently wearing this shoe, and myself and the concerned reader who sent in this letter will love to know how you handled it.
So here goes the letter.


Dear mum and dad,

We can never thank you enough for all you've been to us and being through just because of us. We're most grateful to God who used you as a tool to ship us into this world, kept us in your custody and trust me you've done and you're still doing an amazing job as our caretaker. we greatly appreciate the fact that you train, provide and care for us deeply, all these and more which cannot be quantified we are very grateful and appreciative for.
Thank you also for the privilege of enlightenment and exposure through the platform of education, with this tool we have come to appreciate certain practices and have become more informed with the happenings in the world and trends as well. The truth is, things are not the same anymore. We've come to appreciate that human beings are equal irrespective of their colour, language, race or country. We've come to understand that community isn't just made up of our clan or village as we now have the global world A. K. A online community. Because of this exposure too we can now easily meet and mix up with people of different backgrounds and origin and in some cases we form a strong bond that's hard to separate.
You possibly thought going to school was just a read and write project, but unfortunately is bagged with so much experience than the prospectus reveals. We know you want us to be able to also better your lives after you've invested in ours and Yes, you're right cause you deserve to reap the fruit of your labour. We also know what you expect most from us (your baby girls especially) and that is marriage. You don't want us staying longer than necessary in your house after school, in fact from NYSC you expect that our next move should be the marriage dance and all the orishishi/paparazi that comes with it.
But here is what troubles me, why do you make this decision difficult for us? maybe i'm wrong or I don't get you and I sincerely stand to be corrected and I want to understand too. If we finish school and unfortunately stay at home a bit longer than necessary, you are the ones who worry most and will pick offence with any little thing we do wrong. You throw statements like “We did not send you to school to come and sit at home with us, can’t you see the daughter of Mr, Akinwunmi or the son of Mrs Nkemjika, they are working and making life better for their parents but you are sitting here with us, Don’t tell us we wasted all that money on you for nothing" we become more annoying to you and like a piece you readily want to dispose off. When we mistakenly do something and don’t do it well, you'll scream “did you just do this...i can’t believe you did this, even me that didn’t go to school can do this better than you did. It goes on and on. We keep hearing how we're supposed to do everything better than you and also be better than you.
Then, when it comes to choosing a life partner, you remember that you know better (you may be right being that you're in the business already). You come up with reasons why we cannot marry from another village or tribe, just because it wasn't obtainable in your time. We understand that you want to be able to go to the village and make inquiries, but in the the world of today what can you even easily ascertain by mere seeing. Even some of us your children you barely know. You expect us to follow your line of reasoning on why we should not marry the person we love, especially on grounds of tribe or race. You say things like "Nooo you can’t marry from that state, they eat human beings head, you can’t marry from that tribe, their wives shave their head and drink the water used in cleaning their husbands dead body while mourning, noo you can’t marry from that village they are stingy, nooo people from that part of the country don’t know how to  care for their wives, how will you say you want to marry from that village don’t you know that their wives bewitch their husbands and make them loose their senses to be favouring only their families? Haba!!! Then we ask, why not tell us the good things about these places or is it just the bad?
Dear mum and dad, we're not expcted with our level of exposure to still have same reasoning with you on certain issues of life marriage inclusive. Do you know that because of this same academic pursuit we hardly even meet people from the village, we can count how many village people we've said hello to talk more of becoming real friends with. You even know we hardly travel to the village so practically our whole life is spent in the city, how do we meet your choice (the village love)? We know better than to discriminate against a person cause of tribe, language or colour. Most times we're not in control of who our hearts fall for or who God has designed for us. We also understand that a person's character should not be judged communally but individually. We understand your fears but being too careful over something that isn't so material wouldn't help us. That someone’s marriage failed is not because of where he or she married from, or came from. There is no perfect marriage, and there is no wonderful marriage that miraculously happens no matter how long you fast and pray. Every wonderful marriage that happens involves two people who consciously choose to work and make their marriage a happy one.
We love and appreciate your concern but we beg that you also consider our choice, cause really we're the ones going to stay in the marriage and not you.
Thanks for your anticipated understanding and God bless you.

Your children

PS: Dear married young ones out there, who are lucky to have met the love of their lives from a different state or city or local government or tribe, please please and please try and work on your marriage so that yours will not be the bad example that will be used to discourage some other person. Try and make your marriage a happy one that can be a role model for others.
And to the unmarried ones learn to know someone and love that person that you can fight and convince your parents that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your live with. Get backbone and fight for your love, except if it isn’t love.

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