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FEAR OR YOUR CHOICE?

9:54:00 am
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In 2014 when I first created my blog and was excited to start writing and pouring my heart out to encourage people, so many thoughts began to go through my head. Thoughts like, who was going to read what I'll write? Will I make sense? What of the talks about me now blogging? What if I quit along the line? And some other other crazy thoughts, all of which boils down to the fact that I was afraid. After going through these thoughts which caused me to be afraid, I ended up abandoning that blog till 2 years later. 

What do you think made the difference 2 years later? 

Choice! 

Because, 2 years later I didn't stop being afraid, rather what happened was that I made a choice to not allow those feelings of fear stop me. 

Is it wrong to feel afraid? No! Truth is, the more you feel afraid about a particular task, the more obvious it is that a courageous step towards that task will cause a shift in your life. So, if you feel afraid about a task then that task must be a big deal in your life and make a great difference too. 

"Fear sometimes can be the excuse we make for the choice we made"

So, while fear can be a threat to pursuing our life's purpose, the choice to allow fear win or stop us is totally our decision and we can't blame fear for it. 

What choice are you making today? To allow fear stop you or to take action inspite of your fears? 

Remember, the choice is still yours. I hope you use this power of choice profitably to move your life forward and make a difference in the lives of others and in the world at large.

Live fearlessly!


Love you large!

HANDLING REJECTION & NOs

8:20:00 pm

One of the hindrances to our living a fearless life is the inability to handle rejection. You do your best to keep a positive attitude or summon courage to ask for help and all you get for that effort is a no or outright rejection, or you value this person so much and he or she turns around to say we don't belong together. This can be very hurtful as I've experienced that myself. However, a few things have helped me navigate feeling hurt about rejection and I'll share them with you.

1. Nobody owes you anything.

I learnt this the hard way. Not even your parents, spouse, friend, etc owes you a dime, (well except those who are in possession of your property 😂). Aside that, no one owes you any responsibility or obligation, so if you're fortunate enough to have people around you who really care about you and meet some of your needs, you need to see that as a privilege and be grateful for the favour. When you feel someone is obligated to you, you're already giving them power to make you feel terrible if they don't come true to fulfill that obligation. So, throw that "you owe me mentality" to the wind if you don't want to be hurt by rejections.

2. Understand that people have the right to deny you favours and that doesn't mean they're bad people. 

Making enemies of people just because they said no to you will keep you hurt while the fellow already moved on with his or her life. And the fact that someone said No to you or rejected you doesn't mean they're bad people. So, learn to accept Nos and rejections as part of life and don't hate people for it. 

3. Learn to make excuses for people's offences. 

While it's true that you shouldn't take offense with people just because they said no to you or rejected you, sometimes it's actually difficult not to, because rejection can be painful and offensive especially when same is inhumanely conveyed. To pardon their offense, you can make excuses for them. For instance, you asked A for money which you believe or think she has, then she blatantly refuses in a hurtful way. You can make excuses like.... Maybe she doesn't really have the money or she probably has something going on that's why she didn't respond in a more friendly manner. The excuse you make for them is not to justify their action, rather it's to help you forgive them and move on.

4. Expectations kill. 

Don't expect too much from people. Or rather, expect anything from anyone that way no one disappoints you. It's very hurtful when people you expect to accept you rejects you and says no without a valid reason, forgive them anyway and tell yourself because they're human, they're fallible. This can help you handle rejection.

5. Create something positive around that rejection. 

Maybe you actually need that rejection for you to stretch yourself beyond your comfort zone. So find, a lesson in that rejection and Create something positive with it. 

6. Be satisfied with yourself.

Don't allow what people do or say to you define who you are or change who you are. Be satisfied with yourself that nays or rejection from people don't pinch you a bit. Let your self esteem be so high that no rejection can pull it down. 


These points above are attitudes I built overtime that has helped me handle rejection and Nos. 

What about you? How do you handle rejection? Share with me in the comment section 👇 

I hope you learnt a thing or two? Do have a fearless week! 

Love you large!


 
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